take what you want

Smile. I know it hard, there are things sitting in your way that you just want to yell at, and tell them to get the fuck out of your way, so do it? Why not? I am the one in control of my happiness and I don't think there is much else I could do right now to make me any happier. People these days take intimicy for granted, happiness, the little things. Walks on the first nice day since winter, being in a car with the windows rolled down and being able to feel all of your insecurities wirling around your hair, and in your face. To know that you can look someone in the eyes and be able to say, "I need you," that is what I have. That is what we have and I don't ever want it to go away/

Sooooo if you want to leave, take what you want, and go, however I wouldn't mind if you stuck around.

AY-15

I am up to my ankles in tears,and I feel lik I'm already beginning to drown. Have you ever realized how when you are driving on the highway to go wherever it is you are going. But let me tell you, if you are trying to run away from you problems, you should probably know that geography doesn't change anything. But as you are going along the highway, you realize that the fence posts are never ending. Aren't you supposed to remember those who have passed? It isn't always easy because when you try remember those good times, you also feel the pain that comes with those memories and it just becomes easier to forget, or atleast to push out the thoughts of missing them. But when things get too hard, when things begin to hurt too much, when the memories are burned into your heart, go for a drive, look in the ditch and realize that those fence posts are always going to be there, just like he will.

probably should have been doing Biology..

get out. go explore, I know we can. There are people out there that want to meet us, meet you and let you share that spark that you have inside. look what happened when you met me? look at what we have? I don't want it with anyone else, and for whatever reason, when you look at me and smile, my heart smile. a full, white-big-toothed, pressed lip smile. when you smile, it's simple, I smile too. cliche? yes, haha oh yes. but seeing as when we are together, we don't even acknowledge those around us, or much else to be honest; at least i don't. but see, we don't have to because we tend to kiss alot, and i mean alot. and when two people kiss, usually their eyes are closed (unless we are goofin' around) and when your eyes are closed, your lips are touching and your hearts are open, it feels like we are suspended in the moment, suspended in perfection. so can we please just press pause on all of this, for I do now want you, us, going anywhere.

my sacrifice

I can only pretent everything is going right for som long. I'm getting tired of yelling at myself saying that things are going to change, because at this poing I know that nothing is different. It is all the same garbage as before, except now I have someone in my own corner, directing me through the storm. I am tired of walking on glass around you, so if you don't want to listen to me screaming, either cut me down some more, or just leave. If not, I am just going to continue doing what I do, which is, walking on glass.

get under another

I am to the point where it hurts just way to damn much to even stand it, to breathe, to eat, to sleep and sometimes it hurts to love. with you, without you. I laughed and now i have a new reason to smile, and you just aren't the reason anymore. everytime i tell him i love him i couldn't mean it more, and i hope you are finally beginning to realize it, realize that it isn't you i loath, it's him. I want him. I want all of him, and none of you. Why can't you see that? I used to cry, but today I didn't, because I finally came to the conclusion that I'm over you. Over you and under him, under his skin. because the weight you made me feel was only the weight of you weighing me down ..

babe you give me butterfliiieeess

Its the feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when someone mentions your name; the butterflies, they drive me insane. Its the sense of comfot I get when i look in your eyes; with you everything is genuine and true, and for once there are no lies. I don't know what to think, everything is moving so very fast; but I know that I don't want to mess this up, I want this to last.

Simple.

I don't think I'm ever going to stop falling in love with you <3

absolute perfection

"He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh atleast once, cause you think to twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him, and give him the most you can. He isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break, but trust you not to. Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell at him when he makes you mad, and miss him when he isn't there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you."

-- Robert Nesta Marley

you dont lose your mind. its not like you left if on the counter and it accidently got throw in the trash. it doesnt go for a walk one day and take a wrong left turn, and eventully find its way home. no. your mind cracks with each new tradgety you put yourself through, with each new heartbreak and each new smile. it doesnt take very long before all the cracks weaken its 'perfect' structure, and all of a sudden your mind finally shatters like ice. and the problem is that no matter how many different ways you try to put it back together, there will always be tiny pieces missing. each time you shatter and you put yourself back together, you lose apart of yourself. then finally, after a while, you wont recognize yourself when you look in the mirror. your not lost. you wont find yourself. your broken and i finally have him putting me back together the way it was intended.